The Turkey Was Chicken
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It Really Happened
The Turkey Was
Chicken
By Nicole Christie
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I needed to cross this
bridge, but the
turkey standing guard had other plans... |
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“Nope, I don’t like that
thing one bit,” I said, throwing my hands in the air.
“It looks like
it wouldn’t hold up if a feather landed on it.”
My husband, Scott, and I
were standing at one end of a narrow—and feeble—wooden suspension bridge,
stretched high across a deep ravine in the rainforest of Dunk Island, a
tranquil, virtually deserted oasis off Australia’s east coast, near the Great
Barrier Reef. In order to go deeper into the forest, and continue admiring the
native flora, fauna, birds and butterflies, we would have to cross it.
“Don’t even think about
chickening out now,” Scott said, making his way across. “We’re continuing on
this walk and that means you’re crossing the bridge.”
I stared at the ground,
tracing circles in the dirt with my sandals and ignoring Scott’s taunting
“chicken” squawks. As I considered my next move, I heard footsteps in the brush
behind me. Not adult-size steps, I thought. Possibly not even human steps, I
realized, turning slowly around. Much to my surprise, I found myself
face-to-face with the biggest wild turkey ever to walk the earth. Nearly three
feet (90 cm) tall, covered in black feathers, and sporting a vibrant red wattle,
the bird stared me down, angry that I was in its path.
“Nik, are you coming or
what?” Scott yelled from his halfway point on the bridge.
“Yeah,” I called back, my
voice wavering slightly. I backed cautiously away from the turkey. But it
decided I wasn’t moving quickly enough, let out a loud screech, flapped its
wings, and started toward me.
“OKOKOK!” I shrieked,
sprinting toward and across the bridge in seconds flat.
Scott, waiting for me on
the other side, burst out laughing. We both looked across the bridge and watched
as the turkey paced at the other end, tossing us an occasional disgusted glance.
“I think it wants to
cross,” Scott said. “Let’s move out of its line of sight so it’s not so scared.
I bet it’ll cross if it can’t see us.”
We ducked behind a nearby
tree and poked our heads around the trunk to watch the turkey. It continued to
pace, still glancing in our direction from time to time. Then it seemed
convinced we had left and placed one scrawny red foot, then the other, onto the
bridge. As it sauntered along the wooden slats, it developed quite a rhythm, its
scraggly neck bopping to and fro, punctuated by an occasional “gobble.”

I found the whole scene
unbelievably funny and started to snicker. “Why did the turkey cross the
suspension bridge?” I whispered as Scott delivered a swift “shut-up” nudge to my
ribs.
The bird, suddenly aware
that it was not alone—or extremely self-conscious about being laughed at—halted
mid-bridge and stood completely still. I held my breath in attempt to restrain
myself from laughing, but a few nasal snorts escaped, and the bird began to look
distressed. Scott nudged me again, this time much harder, and silenced me with a
schoolmarm’s glare. After a few seconds, I managed to stifle my giggles long
enough for the turkey to decide the coast was clear and complete its journey.
As it stepped off the
bridge, standing—unbeknownst to itself—just a few feet from us, the bird stopped
to ruffle its feathers, seemingly proud that it had made it unscathed. Then it
proceeded into the rainforest and out of our sight.
“That was awesome!” I
exclaimed, jumping up and down.
“Yeah,” Scott agreed. “And
you told me to leave the camera in the room. ‘Oh, we won’t see anything
interesting—it’s just a bunch of trees and dirt,’” he mimicked.
“Well, I’m
sorry,” I replied. Then, out of the
corner of my eye, I saw the familiar black feathers and shock of red skin.
Another turkey, poised at the opposite end of the bridge. It wanted to cross. I
grabbed Scott’s arm.
“Look,” I announced,
pointing to the bird. “I think it’s following the other one. Maybe they have a
date or something.”
I saw the twinkle in
Scott’s eye and could almost hear the gears grinding in his head.
“You stay here with the
bird. I’m going back to get the camera.”
“Oh, yeah, I like this
idea….” I began.
“Just make sure the bird
doesn’t cross and doesn’t leave,” he said, moving back across the bridge slowly
so as not to startle the turkey. I watched as the bird shuffled swiftly back
into the foliage as Scott made his way past it.
It was just me and the
bird. And the bridge.
I took a deep breath and
strolled across, flipping out over every creak and sway and letting my
imagination get the better of me. What if it collapsed right then and there?
Would I die? Were there rats in the ravine? What would the bird do? Were there
turkeys vultures?
As I stepped off the
bridge, I exhaled with relief, then re-focused my energy on the turkey. I
spotted it grooming itself on a log about 10 feet (3 m) away. It kept one eye on
me as it poked its beak over and under its right wing, fluffing and re-arranging
feathers.
“Pretty hot date tonight,
huh?” I asked it.
The bird stopped in
mid-groom and stared at me.
“Please don’t eat me,” I
pleaded. “We just want to take your picture crossing the bridge. It’s really not
a crime. I promise not to sell your photo to Butterball.”
The turkey continued to
primp while keeping an ever-watchful eye on me. I gazed in the direction of the
resort, hoping I might see Scott on his way back with the camera, then turned
back to the bird.
“I saw your boyfriend—or
girlfriend…I don’t really know how to tell if you’re male or female—crossing the
bridge earlier,” I informed it.
This seemed to intrigue
the turkey and it hopped down from the log.
“OK, now, don’t get
alarmed,” I said, moving toward the bridge in order to prevent the bird from
crossing.
It seemed to perceive this
as a threat, spread its wings full-span, and started squealing. I was fully
expecting that I would soon be either mauled or devoured when Scott emerged from
the trees, camera in hand.
“Oh good, it’s still
here,” he said.
“Yeah, this was a
brilliant plan—this thing is moments from seeking Thanksgiving revenge on me,” I
said, moving out of the turkey’s way.
“They don’t celebrate
Thanksgiving in Australia the way we do in the U.S.,” Scott reminded me.
“I think he has an
informant,” I replied as we walked several yards away from the bird to give it
the sense of privacy and security its kind supposedly required for suspension
bridge-crossing. Positioning ourselves behind a row of bushes, we watched and
waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The turkey groomed itself
a little more, then decided to traipse down, then up the ravine to cross to the
other side. We watched as it disappeared into the woods. So much for our amazing
photo op.
“What was that all about?”
Scott asked, incredulous and disappointed. “Why didn’t it go across the bridge?”
I shrugged and concluded,
“I guess it was chicken.”
If You Go
Dunk
Island
www.dunk-island.com